Falling for the forbidden...

Ever thought why you always fall
for the forbidden nectar
Over the thick sweet honey
you've always had faith on
Homemade with the roots
you've always known and never doubted
Yet you are summoned
by the charms of the unknown
Is it for the charisma they carry
calling you to the spirit world
Or the untamed urge to try maybe
just a sip no more no less
Though the taste turns out to be an urge
Once a spark now turned to a flame
Asking for only more
even after you've been deceived
Is it for the thirst I wonder or
Fear of losing the spark that created memories
Which later turned into your worst nightmares
Oh I wonder heaving a sigh
staring at the empty space
Having had a meaningless flashback
and futile thoughts of no clear explanation...

Figuring out Fallacies... Dated Thu, 15th Dec 2016...

Holding it inside...

Heaving a sigh of disappointment
Feeling my soul has entered a black hole
A shrill of emptiness has wrapped my heart
Every second I wonder why it took an unexpected turn
As I make a futile effort to picture the dragon rider
Recalling when he rose from the ashes
With etched dragon markings across his chest
Never I thought those were the signs of a dragon heart
A heart and soul which were only meant for another dragon heart
And no light paved my path across the black mountains
I feel I'm draining my soul that no longer ignites a spark
Every soothing whisper, electrifying touch
and soul gaze were only making me distant further
As I hold it inside... This pain... This emptiness
The reality... Left with only despair...

Random thoughts held inside... Dated 10th Aug...

Stupidous Spark

How silly can a spark be! Oh dear;
Not again... How can I be sure?
That tingling feeling
that keeps you on the tip of your toes
And lose your breath even for a split second
That uneasy tinge of a dancing flame
Putting my heart strings on a beat of a tango
At times I wish I were heartless
So emotions won't rule my heart over brain
I wonder as I look back at all the stupidity
that overruled my decisions
Am I gonna fall again to witness
Another tragic drama unfolding before me
Or should I step back
not giving way to this absurdness
Forget about the goosebumps
that send a chill down my spine
Or that momentous thought that;
I've to check up and buzz to see
what's going on the other side
A second's silence... I heave a sigh...
of relief or emptiness, I do not know
Oh well... Another misery or a mystery
I'm yet to find out...

...Threads of thoughts crafted on 20th Sep... Tangled Threads of Thoughts... 

The Dragon Dreamer...

The dreadful dragon slayer
Waiting in the banks of black lake by the lava mountains
Ready for its prey with fire canon balls 'n archery
To shatter the dark 'n beautiful dreams of the dragon rider
And here comes the dragon rider with his mysterious lover
Riding the ice lancer; the fire breathing dragon known for its evil majesty 'n pride alike its rider
As we approach the black lake almost touching the waters
I run my fingers through the shrill waves on its surface and smiling
Failing to foresee the upcoming danger upon the dragon slayer's fury
And the dragon rider himself meets the eyes of the ruthless dragon slayer
The duelling continues between the two rivalries
So swift so dangerous failing to capture moments in split seconds
And then comes the final blow of fire from the dragon slayer against the dragon rider taken by surprise
And the ruthless enemy flees leaving flames of fury to tango their way to meet the dragon rider's soul
My soul freezes seeing the last sight... But i feel the warmth of a spark inside and i look ahead..
To see the dragon rider himself walking from the ashes and his skin untouched by the flames
But leaving only a scar of a tattooed dragon across his chest
And our eyes meet again in harmony wrapped in a cool breeze of hope
For the dragon rider is alive....

(epilogue: fire cannot kill a true dragon rider)
.
.
.
Morning song of the Dragon Dreamer to rise and shine!

Urge..

Wish I could count the number of times;
The times I took the phone to call
To ask if we could meet up for one last coffee
But held it in, or things would be harder for you then...
The times I took the phone to text
To wish you a good night's sleep with tender dreams
But held it in, or night would be longer for you then...
The times I wish I could tell
How hard it is to take things easy and smile
But harder I tried, for stronger you would be then...
Saw a conversation of us
I took the phone to go through
But realized twas in a dream of mine...

I close my eyes sometimes

And breathe in the sweet scent of your breath

That still sends a chill down my spine...
For the times we've spent, the sparks we've shared
Not to forget the sweet smiles we cherished
I shall hold this in, so you could move on easier then...
Whole of my soul is craving for that chemistry
For the warmth, the current, the rhythm my love
Oh those nostalgic moments are all coming back to me...
The urge for whole of your soul
To live another second, a flash or a moment
For i could hear your soul's silent call to be with mine...
Oh, we shouldn't get carried away
I hear you whispering, 'n me affirming
For the best of both I know...
So here's a promise not in dreams but reality darling my dear
Now 'n for always I will remember us
in memory of a sacred chemistry
'N we'll survive this together 'n be stronger once more...

That Feeling...

I felt twas all worth it
Losing control and letting go of boundaries for him
Never felt that safer
Never felt so happier in life
For he showed me the stars and led all the way up to the milkyway
Haven't felt so heartwarming
With the soothing touch of a heavenly kind
That feeling I don't want to let go of
The tingling flame dancing inside
My soul wouldn't mind igniting with yours
Through that black hole between us, sparked by the current
Leaving us with that feeling of an endless bond
A beautiful feeling called love.. Wrapped in the breeze of affection, sprinkled with magical dusts of excitement, shaded with mighty-oh caring, and blessed with age-old trust
That feeling I want to wake up every morning to and sleep cuddle the night with
Only you would know that art of painting that feeling to bring it to life in reality my love...

Don't you say I don't need you

You say 'You don't need me'..

Do I not? Why do you feel so? Do you not feel me?

Oh no, dear; not a moment, hear my thoughts

Silence doesn't mean 'm accepting all doings

Smiles and laughing out loud don't mean 'm all in glee

Getting on with things doesn't mean I've forgotten

Don't you say that I don't care or I've no feelings

You've no idea of the broken soul inside 

The lost spirit dying inside missing that warmth

That tingling flame to dance again and be in flight

That urge to taste the sweet nectar and feel the rhythm

To hear that daring heart beating to soothe mine 

And worry of no other for time has ceased its ticking in favor

I still wonder why we took this path of different tracks

I know 'twas my call, but din't we have reasons?

I want to take back what was said, coz you mean so much

Wishing I could turn back time and be lost in our own worlds

Wishing that we'd cross our paths and meet in time

So we could catch things up and be once back on track 

For Nothing's forgotten my dear, nothing will ever be...

Missed Space...

Some leaves swept across the platform as I stepped forward
The wind whistling off tune taking an effort to get the leaves to dance along
The leaves rustled with the dust but momentarily made no move
I gazed at the night skies with hope
Twas dark and cloudy where stars were out of sight
The railway lines stretched far marking dark lines
The benches were empty and I rested on one with weary
The shrill cold wind whistled again giving me goosebumps all over

I tightened and folded my arms against myself

Brushing my hands along my arms to form heat

'Hush, baby' I heard him whispering in my ear

'Twas ticklish and a chill ran down my spine 

As I felt his strong arm around my shoulders drawing me closer

That soothing warmth that lights up my heart 'n soul

Just like a cuppa hot chocolate brewing with hazelnut flavour on a dull rainy day

I closed my eyes and rested my head by his neck under the chin; the cozy spot

'Wham!' 'twas the train horn screaming almost deafening my ears

I looked to my left and found an empty space

Whew... I heaved a heavy sigh drowning in an ocean of thoughts

No one to soothe me nor sing me to sleep

No one to check up on me nor to say e'rything's just alright

Sweet memories whistling but leaving a missed space

A hollow inside my heart seeking for hope and simple smiles

Oh I miss him and his ways.. I was breathing in pain

Just a tear in the corner of my eye, not wanting to face the world

Hoping things will turn out alright at the end...

Addicted... forever...

The warmth of your scent
The pulse of your heartbeat pounding against mine
The rhythm of your breathing in sync with mine
And the touch still sending chills down my spine
A flame is dancing in glee in my heart
Tingling to be brought to life deep in my soul
Didn't realize 'm hard core addicted
Until I hit myself hard on the ground
My heart's aching foreseeing what's coming
A soul about to shatter; to pieces close to dust
For every atom is shaking and shivering so swift
Longing for just a little more dose of the drug
Why do I fall for the forbidden nectar
Can't handle this any longer
A feeling too good to be true
A dream I never want to wake up from
It's addiction for a drug that wasn't s'pposed to be tasted
I want the wind to break through my soul
To feel the fire gushing through my blood

And make a futile effort to soothe me

But only a silent tear making its way down
'cause I've broken the rules again oh save me...

-Wondering why way of life has to be so hard...-

 every word, every pause, every sigh.. truly meant... recollecting memories shared..

Friends Forever and For always, and even longer...

You're a gift of life
A chance I was gifted...
To see the meaning of friendship
To understand and to be understood...
I could always open up and be myself
And always count on you to walk by my side...
Knowing me and coping up my ways
For believing in me and always keeping faith...
You're the sweetness of friendship
Sharing smiles, laughter and those magical moments...
It's a charm that makes my soul blossom
To know that you'll always be there...
My chum you shall be
Friends forever and for always... and even longer...

Dedicating my thoughts to my dearest chums of all times Era & Charmz...
Nothing's forgotten, nothing's ever forgotten...
30.June.2014...

Temptation...

Whew... I heave a sigh
After another glance at the screen
No text.. no call.. missed in the mobile
What's got on to me
Why this temptation
Urging me to ring back and checkup
Knowing that things won't change
besides there're no feelings for me either
It's just plain mercy and sympathy I'm going through
Nothing more meant to be
I know.. just that it's hard to believe
And convince my heart
That's beating at an off rhythm
In doubt.. in case things would find a twist
Seeking if there's some flick of light in pitch darkness
Oh why it's always trouble
That my temptation seeks
Hopeless and gone all reckless
Not knowing what lies ahead
Is nothing but the deep tides
That silently drown and take one's breath away
Temptation oh I wish it never existed
Or perhaps deep inside 'tis my heart not ready to accept
That 'tis just a shadow I seek.. and nothing more...

-Wishing things would've been simpler, and not harder...-
Dated 17.07.2014

Waiting game

he said he's got feelings for another
Asked me if twas alright with me
I smiled back with mixed feelings
And whispered that's nice and I'm happy for him
Felt something inside died and lost
Didn't expect it would happen so fast
I saw my life falling apart
Now having lost in the waiting game
Remembered the sparks of moments we shared
The secret codes and the sweet music
how he played the heart strings when I was down
That heart melting voice always soothing
And the warmth of his heart he shared

All lost memories never to be brought back to life again
No one to play the cheerful strings 

Or to whisper in the ear 'everything will be alright'

And send a chill run down my spine
Not anyone anymore to keep me warm inside

Now that my heart's set on fire
No one to hear me cry, nor feel me sigh
It was a sweet wine of fantasy

For a moment how close I was to eternity

And now so distant and never within reach
'twas the endless waiting game 

The more you keep things to yourself
Wanting for more, hoping something better will find your way

But then all dreams shattered into pieces

Like ice cream stolen off the cone down to your toes

Nothing to indulge, but the cool melting cream left in the cone

Still dripping down the fingers giving goosebumps

Leaving only traces of flicks of moments that are gone forever
Such an empty feeling, hollow and so hard to cope up
Being lost in this waiting game

Not for a moment but forever...

07.April.2014... Lost a forbidden love forever... but wishing him and his love long lasting love...

Sketches from Childhood

Posted some of my old poetry and short stories composed and written in my childhood days... Hoping to post more of my oldies and new writings soon!

A Glimpse at the years to come

I stared at the clock above the black board lazily and stretched my arms across my desk. I studied my eyes across the classroom and my colleagues were busy, roaring paper rockets all over the class, splashing water, scribbling cartoons on paper and engaging in other work of stupidity. Professor Grimmwich, our lecturer for Physics was carrying out his lecture on ‘Time Dimensions’ with his invention beside him, which he used to call the ‘time machine.’ He was bringing about the relationship of miracles of time and science. It was total nonsense that such contrasting factors could be brought together for comparison – science and enchantment. I strongly had my perspective that one could never travel across time, since I believed time is just another dimension. Time stated 1158h on the clock and I rested my chin on my arms heaving a restless sigh.

The professor then suddenly called me front and I stepped to him thinking what sort of a charm would he perform next – disappear me to the time of apes? It was simply ridiculous. But each time I argued with him, he was bringing out all concepts which are still in experimental process, to give birth for hope to my personal views regarding time. He was in depth of his assumptions that time is a valuable dimension of use, once we get to know its capacity. Professor Grimmwich once again reminded us about the ‘black holes’ in space where particles around the black hole get absorbed in to it and as you are transferred to another location of the universe you find that the time too has changed across the black hole. Well, yet we are not entirely aware of these black holes though scientists believe that they do exist in the universe struggling with very high energy. Also we have heard that once you travel in speeds close to that of light, your aging get retarded as it had been for the astronauts in spaceships. Paranormal and confusing situations are in existence, for which the scientists are in search of clues. But Professor Grimmwich was another time traveler for me as in the tale ‘time machine.’

So as I went to him before the classroom, he placed his remote-controller-like-time machine equipment on my palm and told to operate it. As I switched it on, a foggy smoke covered my surrounding and I couldn’t make out any thing or person around me other than the fumes. Just as I thought it was totally nonsense as I was right there in my classroom standing right beside the professor. I smirked but then after a few seconds only I was capable enough of understanding what has really happened. The entire classroom was filled with the utmost silence and everyone was motionless as if a movie clip has been paused. I drew close to my professor and swayed my hand alongside his eyes, but there wasn’t a single movement. Every one was freeze still. The surprising fact was that, the time on the clock was held stating 1158h. I walked along my class and my friends were like statues. The paper rockets were on air as if trapped by some gravitation alike in the universe. I tried to touch one of the paper rockets but it was sharp as a blade and my finger ended up in bleeding. Maybe you need an extraordinary force to change position of objects within unknown time intervals. My eyes caught the sight of still splashes of water over air in the classroom, but didn’t intend to go through further injuries. The colleagues were wearing still expressions as some had their mouths open wide and making funny faces. I went back before the classroom and took hold of the professor’s time machine equipment and pressed on its button, without the slightest thought of where I will end up next minute. Once again the smoke was around me and I found my classroom visible once again just as it used to be, with all the movements taking place. I glimpsed at the clock in a swish and was lost in confusion to find that it stated the same time 1158h. Everything took place within the minute itself. The professor questioned me for my experiences and I showed him an uncomfortable guilty smile as I walked back to my desk empty minded. I found my finger bleeding and the paper rocket having a slight blood stain due to my weird experience across time. Everything was back to normal – my colleagues, their nasty work and the classroom itself. I took seat at my desk and gave one last stare at the clock hanging at the top of the wall. The time was 1159h. Was it a flash back I had just a minute ago? Or is time really capable enough of being halt and can we travel across time? I was lost in the middle of perplexing questions which were left alone unsolved or disturbed. Time - is that the answer for all our mysteries or should we go ahead…

- The End -

Written date: 28/ 08/ 2006

My Role for Promoting Peace

The day was meant to be bright, for the sun beams danced everywhere; around trees, gleeful birds, flowers but not in the human minds. I held a deep sigh above the shoulders of my Tamil friend, Jeliththa. She was my neighbour and also my best friend. But our families and the outer world were a halt in between our friendship. But almost every day we succeeded in finding few minutes for a chat along such difficulties. We were dreaming about a free nation, lands of peace and a united Sri Lanka where we could build mountains of great friendship that would last throughout lifetimes. But all the while what it mattered was her race. Since she was Tamil and I was Sinhalese, there were endless hardships that led us to despair. When she was very young, her brother was taken in to LTTE by force, when they were settling in Jaffna. It had been a great downfall in Jeliththa’s life. Then only they had come to settle down in our neighbourhood. But even today the people in our neighbourhood are against them and none of them spoke with each other. And now another trouble is heading way towards us. Jeliththa’s father was getting ill and it was worsening day by day. It’s another burden to Jeliththa and me. I comforted her, but she was sobbing clung to me shoulders. She has no other person to cope her grief with. I waited silently till her grief soothed. What is really the cause of his illness? Why can’t he go and meet the doctors for treatments? He was not willing to get treatments from the Sinhalese doctors and there were also certain problems with money. Suddenly there was my name being called by my mother and it was time to depart. I told her not to worry; it was all what I could tell to comfort her. What else could a teenager like me do, to bring peace to our families?

That night we were all dining together and I was not in proper mood. My mother asked what was bothering me and I told her, but it was nothing that mattered to her and she was giving her usual chanting, not to meet Jeliththa. I was listening silently and finally went to bed even without meal. And the following day was a terrible day to my family. We were all up in the morning and my father had gone for weeding outside by the fence. After an hour or so, my mother came in screaming that father’s fallen unconscious when she had gone out to take him tea. We were alarmed and my father was taken to the nearest hospital immediately. We were waiting outside the ICU waiting for the doctor, curious to know what happened to my father in a sudden. The doctor came and we were shocked to know that my father was bitten by a serpent and that he needs blood. And the troublesome situation was that the blood group of my father was ‘O – negative’ which was rare. None of my family members was having that blood group and we were to find out a person who is willing to donate that particular blood to my father.

It was the matter of time we were lacking and the results were worsening. I met Jeliththa that evening and told her what happened. And suddenly she said that her father was having the same blood group. There was no time left for another thought and we both ran to our homes to tell the news. But my mother was against it and she refused it at once. Jeliththa came that late evening with an excited mood. Her father had given his will to donate blood and it was such good news, but how could I change my mother’s mind?

That night we went to visit my father and his wounds were getting worse and the doctor said that the blood has to be given within 24 hours for survival. We were all so desperate. There was no time to waste. I reported Jeliththa the news and she came with her father to speak with my mother. My mother was halfway unconscious and she was not aware of what to be done. Jeliththa’s father too looked weak, but his voice had the humble tone of helping my father, though there were conflictions between him and my father. We all went to hospital that very moment, along with Jeliththa’s family. Both our fathers were together; Jeliththa’s father to donate blood and my father to get healed. We were so anxious being outside and none of us spoke with Jeliththa’s family as our hearts were pounding with trembled thoughts.

Hours passed and the doctor approached us with a smile to announce the successful blood donation. He spoke with Jeliththa’s family and appreciated their attempt being Tamils. Within a few minutes we were allowed to visit our fathers. There lay my father on bed being well and we told him about the blood donation. He was astonished to hear the news and he together with my mother felt so guilt at their hearts for the way they treated Jeliththa’s family from the start. They apologized Jeliththa’s father and he gave back a meek smile in return.

Within the next few days my father was home in good condition. But Jetliththa’s father was not fine. As I told my father about the situation, he worked out all expenses for the sickness of Jeliththa’s father which was latterly found out to be high blood pressure. Both our families were bound with blood from that day on and we were quite good neighbours. The race was none it mattered and Jeliththa and I succeeded in bringing peace to the two of our families. But the society and the country are still left to be healed. We may be children that may never involve in bringing peace in between nations of the country, but there’s a responsibility that all we children are bound to fulfill, in this peace process. It’s to bring a peaceful nature between our families. You may feel it’s impossible, but with hope you’ll learn it’s possible. A family leads to the society or the country and as long as these families are united with peace, so do the society and the country. So let us get together hand in hand as communicators to promote peace in the country giving start from our own families.

- The End -

Addiction

My wrist watch beeped with a monotonous tone for a few seconds and I was relieved at last. My private tuition class duration was over and the day’s lesson was meant to stop. I held my books in my arms and stepped out of the class towards the big oak tree by the main highway, where my big brother used to wait to walk me home along with his bike. But, he wasn’t there. I sped my way towards the tree to have a clear glimpse, but he was out of sight. He couldn’t have forgotten me. I was still, with my thoughts skiing their way for an answer. Oh, that’s what it was. I was giggling to myself. But, could he be that angry or furious with me? It’s true I was making him steam with my silly jokes which I never meant to be stern. So he has not come on purpose, to teach me a fine lesson for turning him angry with my jokes. The next minute I was up to my feet all my way home thinking of ways to bring a friendly nature between me and my brother. Being so fond with my brother I could never remain angry with him, so I had to be friendly with him somehow or other. As I stepped in to the veranda leading to my home, I kept the books on my study desk and slowly tip toed to my brother’s room and peeped in to it. No way! He wasn’t there. He always used to be in his room most of the time of the day. Then I looked for him in the entire house, but he was missing.

My father pays his visit to home once in a week while my mother reaches home late evening or almost night. Therefore grandmother was the only other person occupied in the household chores during day time, apart from us. So I paced myself to the pantry and asked her about brother. He had left with some of his friends whom grandma failed to recognize. I felt so solemn and hollow for making him annoyed. So I waited till his presence. Hours rushed but he wasn’t home. It even turned late evening and a guilty feeling ran along my nerves. How could I know where he has gone? Who were the friends? I took one of his diaries and dialed the telephone numbers of some of his friends. They have known nothing about him for several weeks and not that friendlier either. They were even anxious to know who was so interested or caring to him afterall. What was wrong with my brother? I dialed some more telephone numbers and there was the same answer. My brother seemed to have found some new friends. It’s none of my business to deal with his friends, but why isn’t he home by now? When I was about to dial my mother’s mobile number, I heard someone at the verandah.

I leapt to my feet and ran to the entrance door and I was so glad to find my brother making his way inside. He looked so exhausted and he was sweating so badly. His face was yellowish with red rings under his eyes. He seemed way too depressed and very sick. But he was feeling quite well that morning. I asked him why he was late but he shouted at me most irritably. He was downright rude and I held my tongue shut without a single other word. He was heading straight to his room and I brought him water which he took no notice of. Then I had his dinner ready and gave it to him which he refused, yelling that he had no appetite to eat, but leave him alone. I turned so upset and apologized him for what I said in the morning. But he was not listening and I was in tears to find him fast asleep on his bed. He has never treated me nor behaved like this before.

Days passed and the atmosphere round my brother was turning worse than ever. His outgoings were unusually weird. Once he reach home he gets to sleep for twenty continuous hours straight and leaves again as he wakes up. He was no longer my good old brother. And I soon realized that the joke I did that morning to turn him angry was nothing that mattered and it was no way close to his abnormal behaviour. Soon enough my mother was aware of his sudden behaviour, so was my father. But they found lack of time to attend to him and I was helpless. There was one of my cousin sisters who used to be a medical student in university. Now she must be a doctor already giving treatments to medically unstable people. I phoned her and ‘yes,’ she was a doctor. I was cheerful to have found the correct person at last. I explained the situation clear enough and according to the symptoms she said what the kind of disease it was. I was shocked and the receiver slipped my hands.

What? That’s impossible! My brother is addicted to “Heroin?” I couldn’t believe what I heard and I rushed to my brother’s room. He was once again gone. I made way to his table and stared at the desk-top contents. There was my brother; smiling and his arms around me in the photo which was taken a few months ago. How was he, just before a couple of days ago and how is he now? I sighed and then I saw a silvery like thing at the side of his table. I drew myself further towards it and was curious to find something more or less alike a needle. As I drew closer there were more such needles. If that happened to be a real needle, why should he use one? He never used needles and no one in the house used needles, other than mending them from somewhere outside. And just beside the needles there was a rough paper scribbled ‘Morphine’ everywhere. What’s all these needles and ‘morphine’s? Certainly, they have to be related with his unusual behaviour. I didn’t know much about heroin or its effects, but knew that it was something dangerous. I have to save my brother somehow and for that, I have to learn about heroin and its relationship to these needles and morphine if they do have something to deal with morphine.

In the coming days I was busy learning myself about heroin and keeping regular contacts with my cousin sister who was a doctor. We verified that my brother is suffering from ‘heroin addiction’ and that ‘morphine’ was one such heroin in use, while the needles were used to inject such a drug. With each detail I was troubled and frightened. My parents were terrified to hear that their own son is addicted to heroin. They were contacting all kinds of physicians and psychiatrists for heroin treatments. Both my parents were at leave from work and my cousin sister too came to board in our home till the situation is turning calm. Then and there we were up to action. And in the next few days we all were trying to get closer to my brother, to talk over with him. My father avoided brother’s outings by force. It was unbearable to see my brother crying for morphine for every three or four hours. He was having high fever and lying blue on bed being almost paralyzed and unconscious. Days and weeks passed and my brother had to go through many treatments for most of which I could hardly understand or which were unbearable to stare at.

Now there’s my brother brought back to life, fully recovered. It’s been almost three months from his recovery. I’m relieved that I finally had my dear old brother and I surely did learn a lot about heroin after all. It’s the addicting part which worsens the person’s behaviour. The new set of friends of my brother made him addict to heroin. The friends, whom you associate, play a major role in your life when bringing up changes whether good or bad. You have to have self confidence not to lose your already built-up personality and discipline as well as the mature understanding of good and bad. It’s said that, prevention is always better than cure. After you’ve done the mistake it’s rather impossible to recover back or correct it, and you’ll end up in disappointment. There may be many brothers, uncles and fathers of you; who are going through my story, who are addicted for drugs in a similar manner. But if you have a close relationship within the family, nurtured by love, affection, care and protection, you’ll hardly be misled or undergo that fierce ‘addiction.’

- The End -
Date written: 29/ 05/ 06

In Search of Serenity

“Two more soldiers killed in Vavuniya – both were killed on the spot; fired at by suspected LTTE cadres at Veppankulam,” the newspaper headlines shot out one of the latest crime scenes of the country. No doubt there’ll be more. The country’s all covered with the mist of crime and fear these days. A major general of the army was assassinated just a few days ago. Several bomb explosions were reported in certain regions of the country while some bombs are discovered in turn. And the LTTE, which is more commonly referred to as Tigers is presumed to be the cause in all these cases. Our parents fear to send us school, after all the true or false rumours spread about the tigers attacking the popular Buddhist schools in the country. But the government assures that there’s nothing to panic as it is just a tale. But how can we assure the government for our own safety when the army generals are doubtful of theirs? I’m facing my A-levels next year and as A-level being a top level exam, it is a waste even to miss school for a few days due to these rumours.

While some worry about schooling, others do worry about their pleasure. My sisters, who have completed their O-level exams and waiting for results to be issued, are blaming the country for not having a friendly atmosphere. That is because they are missing the opportunity to enjoy shopping or going for movies or picnics with their friends. It’s so unfair in the aspects of a teenager or a youth to have such an alarming situation in the country so as to lose their freedom in studying or entertainment. What I mentioned so far is the injustice that the Sri Lankan people have to face due to LTTE. But it’s not just the Sinhalese people that suffer all these discrimination, what about the Tamils who undergo much more fierce experiences? The LTTE is ruling the North of Sri Lanka presiding Jaffna as the main town. Inhabitants in Jaffna have to pay taxes for the government as well as the LTTE and they undergo much more restrictions being treated as slaves of these Tigers. And the Tamil youths are forced to join the LTTE for war or death would be their destiny.

Is that what we long for - Death - Fear? It was in 1948 Sri Lanka crowned as an independent country. But what is the plight that has come to Sri Lanka now? We feel that it’s disappointing that the Sri Lankan army is not taking direct actions to wage war against the LTTE. It’s true that waging a war is unfair after all the peace talks the government had with LTTE to finally set up Ceasefire agreements. But once they have failed to continue Ceasefire after all their attacks, why not we defend ourselves against them? That’s what any one would think when living as a victim to all these threats. I may seem partial with my ideas against the LTTE, but are we not to survive in this country or to lead a tranquil life without fear? Many citizens believe that the Tamils are the cause for all these destructions and crimes. Though there’re Tamils in the LTTE, all the rest of the innocent Tamils have nothing to do with it. They are just helpless with lost hope for survival. But how unfortunate we are in search of peace? Thoughts of ignorance and frustration are drenched in our minds against the Tamils. We are lacking social integration with them where we find many Sinhalese people cursing them or treating them as if they were of some inferior caste. If the present situation continues further, soon there’ll be assassinations of Tamils by the Sinhalese people as there were in the late 1980s, where Sinhalese murdered the Tamils when a troop of Sri Lankan army soldiers were killed by the Tigers.

Where it will end will simply be a dream, but where it will continue is there in reality. Should that be justice? What do we seek in every other aspect of life? Isn’t it the serenity or peace to live better than how we are today? But how many of us gain that freedom? Do you think you’ll gain that liberty in life through all these wars? There’ll never be an end, but for the anticipation of killing one another in revenge. This vengeance will grow within the bloods of the future generation and so forth never will it come to end.

And that’s why we should try ourselves to live together with the hope of giving birth to a society nurtured with harmony and love for one another. It’s the understanding what we lack. Whoever is wrong, I believe that person has to be given a chance to learn what’s right and justice. But without proper understanding how are we to know the expectations of others? Lack of understanding leads to frustration and finally to betrayal, where wars emerge in to scene. That’s what I see as the cause to all these destructions. Once a party fails to fulfil his or her expectations there arise the greed for fortune. And this greed leads to rob or to claim the ownership for what is belonged to others. Then to protect what you have gained, you defend yourself, property or murder ones who come to threaten. Finally there begins a war, where resources and lives from each party are lost.

In most of the situations, it’s simply of no use to argue about this matter – since the politicians are considered to be the only capable authorities to take all the decisions through out this peace process. But as independent citizens we should also be able to contribute our help in this peace process. It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth giving a try to improve understanding among others so as to live together as a free nation attaining serenity for our lives.

- The End -
Written in 2006

Plane Plunges into Sea

“Plane plunges into sea”. The headline was stated on the first page of the newspaper. My eyes fixed on the headline with horror. My mind drew to the past with those cold memories.

It was a gloomy day on Monday, the 30th of September. I started packing my things in to my bags. We were to reach the Katunayake airport by 2200h. Within half an hour we were there at the entrance of the airport. We rushed to the door of the aero plane which stated “101”. And there, we took seats of that very plane, which was to fly to Los Angeles. I got a seat by the window and I was much contented, ‘cause, I always loved to have a seat by the window, so I can have a good look of the surrounding. When it was 2400h in the midnight, we were flying over the “Bermuda Triangle”. My legs started clattering and an eerie thought ran along my nerves. I have read about the “Bermuda Triangle” and it was a place where ships that sailed along it and planes that flew over it, got disappeared.

Suddenly I felt a magnetic power activating from far below towards my feet. And the plane started to drag down as if it was magnetized by some enormous power. People started to scream and I held the arm of my seat so tight for I couldn’t get my hands off it. I couldn’t think of anything except my parents. I turned around to look at them, but all the people around me seemed dizzy and blur to my sight. My mind ran all around about the “Bermuda Triangle”. Scientifically the cause for this is the gravitational force around the “Bermuda Triangle”. As it had a great power of gravity all over this place, the ships and aero planes, which went towards this “Bermuda Triangle”, were dragged in to this “Bermuda Triangle” and were disappeared.

Suddenly there was a loud splashing sound and the plane was plunged in to the deep blue sea. My eyes were focused on the window and I saw fish of different patterns and styles diving away from our plane. The plane sunk and struck on the hard rock sending bubbles and then there were pieces of the plane all around us. When I took my full effort to swim to the surface, a man caught my leg. I struggled like anything and kicked the old man, not knowing whether it was my father or not and without even feeling sorry for him. By that moment I only thought about surviving my life. The next second I continued diving to the surface, but some sort of power hauled me to the core of the earth. Though I used all sort of techniques of diving that I could think of, it was helpless. I felt my final breath losing from my lungs and then I could not think of anymore, for that was the end of me.

Now I’m just a soul or perhaps a ghost. I heard the father of the church memorizing us after getting to know that we had left this world, earning death. I’m lifeless and now I just float along in the atmosphere, thinking of that cold, gloomy memory of that very past. I held a last glance of the headline and joined the fellow spirits of the atmosphere.

- The End -

Killer Shark

As an 18 year old, I used to stare at the sea with awe. Very soon, I will have to go in there to grow corals. By this time the scientists had invented a way to grow corals under sea at the coastal area. My father worked for the Corals Department with the hope of saving corals, which protected the beach from sea erosion. And he; my father, was the one who invented a method to grow corals. There was a diving team in the Corals Department to fulfill this task and my father also belonged to this team. He always taught me the value of corals and how he grew corals with his fellow divers. But unfortunately one day my father didn’t return home from diving. We were drawn apart when we got to know that father and a few more divers were killed by a “Killer Shark”, one of the most dangerous sharks. My mother wept for losing him, but I wept thinking of my future; for I also have to be a diver like my father and might get killed by the “Killer Shark”. I was informed that I should join the Corals Department by 18 years old. By then I was just 16 years old.

As usual I sat by the seashore watching the tide and waves roaring against the rocks. Today’s my 18th birthday. But I was not slightest happy, but with anger filled with fear. I watched the busy sea gulls catching fish with their swift beaks. The golden sun turned red and sank in the faraway horizon. The clouds flushed in orange and red, as they’d been shy. In a sudden, I felt an arm on my shoulder. It was my mother holding an envelope with excitement. My hands shivered as I took out the letter with my both hands. My heart stopped beating as I went through it. The letter was from the Corals Department as I hoped, informing that I have passed the diving sessions and related exams and therefore chosen for the diving group. I showed mother a faint smile and went home to make ready the necessities for the following day. Once I fell asleep that night, I only dreamt about Killer Sharks which made me feel rather terrible.

The next morning I watched the sun rise from the horizon as the salty wind hugged me farewell. I was ready to dive with rest of the divers. Within a few minutes I was undersea working out the duties with my fellow divers. But then my eye caught the sight of a dark shadow nearby which led my heart beating with a rapid thud, as I continued on with my work. The next minute what I saw was a whole area of the sea flushing in red; and it was BLOOD! I realized what had happened. It was that Killer Shark again. The thought of the Killer Shark turned me cold. I dived towards my team mates to report the emergency which was a rule, at danger. But I was too late, for it had attacked the rest of divers leaving me and one another. Both of us sped towards the surface to reach our boat. My companion was slower and finally he too was a victim. The next second, its eyes caught the sight of me and it started speeding after me. I was rather exhausted for I couldn’t swim any further. The shark caught my fin and pulled me towards its fearful jaws inviting me for his prey. With a great struggle and confusion, I dragged my dagger up high and struck the shark’s eye, which was filled with fury. The shark slowing for the bottom, crying with great pain and that must have been its end. Next I hurried to our boat and returned home. All were so surprised and proud of me, for what I had done. But rather than the fame I earned, I was much more satisfied, as I took the revenge from that Killer Shark for killing my father.

That day was the day which I faced the most dangerous situation during my life so far. But even after that incident, I still continue on with my job of growing corals. Each time, when I remember that incident and those fierce eyes of that shark, I believe that it was just an omen. But yet I have to go on, as my fate calls upon.

- The End -

A ripped soul

I’ve ripped my soul apart
Feeling empty now, a hollow inside my heart…
A feeling strived to live
But now ‘tis dying, for a chance was never given to live…
‘Twas the first, ‘twas the deepest I could ever imagine
Never have my spirit had such an urge before…
But now that all hope has faded, and I’m missing even more
A forbidden love, a broken heart, let alone a ripped out soul…
Wishing it could only be a nightmare
Or maybe just that, my heart’s never destined to be loved…

Dated as long as it deserves…
Composed on December the 4th, 2011...