Holding it inside...

Heaving a sigh of disappointment
Feeling my soul has entered a black hole
A shrill of emptiness has wrapped my heart
Every second I wonder why it took an unexpected turn
As I make a futile effort to picture the dragon rider
Recalling when he rose from the ashes
With etched dragon markings across his chest
Never I thought those were the signs of a dragon heart
A heart and soul which were only meant for another dragon heart
And no light paved my path across the black mountains
I feel I'm draining my soul that no longer ignites a spark
Every soothing whisper, electrifying touch
and soul gaze were only making me distant further
As I hold it inside... This pain... This emptiness
The reality... Left with only despair...

Random thoughts held inside... Dated 10th Aug...

Stupidous Spark

How silly can a spark be! Oh dear;
Not again... How can I be sure?
That tingling feeling
that keeps you on the tip of your toes
And lose your breath even for a split second
That uneasy tinge of a dancing flame
Putting my heart strings on a beat of a tango
At times I wish I were heartless
So emotions won't rule my heart over brain
I wonder as I look back at all the stupidity
that overruled my decisions
Am I gonna fall again to witness
Another tragic drama unfolding before me
Or should I step back
not giving way to this absurdness
Forget about the goosebumps
that send a chill down my spine
Or that momentous thought that;
I've to check up and buzz to see
what's going on the other side
A second's silence... I heave a sigh...
of relief or emptiness, I do not know
Oh well... Another misery or a mystery
I'm yet to find out...

...Threads of thoughts crafted on 20th Sep... Tangled Threads of Thoughts... 

The Dragon Dreamer...

The dreadful dragon slayer
Waiting in the banks of black lake by the lava mountains
Ready for its prey with fire canon balls 'n archery
To shatter the dark 'n beautiful dreams of the dragon rider
And here comes the dragon rider with his mysterious lover
Riding the ice lancer; the fire breathing dragon known for its evil majesty 'n pride alike its rider
As we approach the black lake almost touching the waters
I run my fingers through the shrill waves on its surface and smiling
Failing to foresee the upcoming danger upon the dragon slayer's fury
And the dragon rider himself meets the eyes of the ruthless dragon slayer
The duelling continues between the two rivalries
So swift so dangerous failing to capture moments in split seconds
And then comes the final blow of fire from the dragon slayer against the dragon rider taken by surprise
And the ruthless enemy flees leaving flames of fury to tango their way to meet the dragon rider's soul
My soul freezes seeing the last sight... But i feel the warmth of a spark inside and i look ahead..
To see the dragon rider himself walking from the ashes and his skin untouched by the flames
But leaving only a scar of a tattooed dragon across his chest
And our eyes meet again in harmony wrapped in a cool breeze of hope
For the dragon rider is alive....

(epilogue: fire cannot kill a true dragon rider)
.
.
.
Morning song of the Dragon Dreamer to rise and shine!

Urge..

Wish I could count the number of times;
The times I took the phone to call
To ask if we could meet up for one last coffee
But held it in, or things would be harder for you then...
The times I took the phone to text
To wish you a good night's sleep with tender dreams
But held it in, or night would be longer for you then...
The times I wish I could tell
How hard it is to take things easy and smile
But harder I tried, for stronger you would be then...
Saw a conversation of us
I took the phone to go through
But realized twas in a dream of mine...

I close my eyes sometimes

And breathe in the sweet scent of your breath

That still sends a chill down my spine...
For the times we've spent, the sparks we've shared
Not to forget the sweet smiles we cherished
I shall hold this in, so you could move on easier then...
Whole of my soul is craving for that chemistry
For the warmth, the current, the rhythm my love
Oh those nostalgic moments are all coming back to me...
The urge for whole of your soul
To live another second, a flash or a moment
For i could hear your soul's silent call to be with mine...
Oh, we shouldn't get carried away
I hear you whispering, 'n me affirming
For the best of both I know...
So here's a promise not in dreams but reality darling my dear
Now 'n for always I will remember us
in memory of a sacred chemistry
'N we'll survive this together 'n be stronger once more...

That Feeling...

I felt twas all worth it
Losing control and letting go of boundaries for him
Never felt that safer
Never felt so happier in life
For he showed me the stars and led all the way up to the milkyway
Haven't felt so heartwarming
With the soothing touch of a heavenly kind
That feeling I don't want to let go of
The tingling flame dancing inside
My soul wouldn't mind igniting with yours
Through that black hole between us, sparked by the current
Leaving us with that feeling of an endless bond
A beautiful feeling called love.. Wrapped in the breeze of affection, sprinkled with magical dusts of excitement, shaded with mighty-oh caring, and blessed with age-old trust
That feeling I want to wake up every morning to and sleep cuddle the night with
Only you would know that art of painting that feeling to bring it to life in reality my love...

Don't you say I don't need you

You say 'You don't need me'..

Do I not? Why do you feel so? Do you not feel me?

Oh no, dear; not a moment, hear my thoughts

Silence doesn't mean 'm accepting all doings

Smiles and laughing out loud don't mean 'm all in glee

Getting on with things doesn't mean I've forgotten

Don't you say that I don't care or I've no feelings

You've no idea of the broken soul inside 

The lost spirit dying inside missing that warmth

That tingling flame to dance again and be in flight

That urge to taste the sweet nectar and feel the rhythm

To hear that daring heart beating to soothe mine 

And worry of no other for time has ceased its ticking in favor

I still wonder why we took this path of different tracks

I know 'twas my call, but din't we have reasons?

I want to take back what was said, coz you mean so much

Wishing I could turn back time and be lost in our own worlds

Wishing that we'd cross our paths and meet in time

So we could catch things up and be once back on track 

For Nothing's forgotten my dear, nothing will ever be...

Missed Space...

Some leaves swept across the platform as I stepped forward
The wind whistling off tune taking an effort to get the leaves to dance along
The leaves rustled with the dust but momentarily made no move
I gazed at the night skies with hope
Twas dark and cloudy where stars were out of sight
The railway lines stretched far marking dark lines
The benches were empty and I rested on one with weary
The shrill cold wind whistled again giving me goosebumps all over

I tightened and folded my arms against myself

Brushing my hands along my arms to form heat

'Hush, baby' I heard him whispering in my ear

'Twas ticklish and a chill ran down my spine 

As I felt his strong arm around my shoulders drawing me closer

That soothing warmth that lights up my heart 'n soul

Just like a cuppa hot chocolate brewing with hazelnut flavour on a dull rainy day

I closed my eyes and rested my head by his neck under the chin; the cozy spot

'Wham!' 'twas the train horn screaming almost deafening my ears

I looked to my left and found an empty space

Whew... I heaved a heavy sigh drowning in an ocean of thoughts

No one to soothe me nor sing me to sleep

No one to check up on me nor to say e'rything's just alright

Sweet memories whistling but leaving a missed space

A hollow inside my heart seeking for hope and simple smiles

Oh I miss him and his ways.. I was breathing in pain

Just a tear in the corner of my eye, not wanting to face the world

Hoping things will turn out alright at the end...